January

Goodbye January. Part of me is sad to see you go, and part of me is relieved.

You were a month of newness. A new baby and a new routine. There were cold days, snow days, and even some lovely Spring like days, where I was sure it wasn't January at all.

In January, we celebrated two birthdays, and one birth day.

The days of January quietly passed one to the next, and a new routine was established within my family. Breakfast, playtime, lunch time, movie time, playtime, dinner time, playtime and bedtime. January had very few quiet moments, but all the noise will be remembered with love. Newborn cries, cries of a frustrated toddler, cries of a tired Mama, but alot of cries of laughter and joy.

Thank you January. But I'm happy to welcome in February.

A month with hopefully full recovery, perhaps getting outdoors for a walk, visits from family from out of province, and our little boy turning one month old.

Farewell January, and thank you for all your blessings.

Serious Love of Chocolate

I used to have this bad habit of buying chocolate just in case I might like to eat it. The second part of that bad habit was I rarely did. It happily just sat in my cupboard, and, more often than not, I'd throw it out.... sometimes even a year after the purchase.

Then I got pregnant with Aidan, and around the 7th or 8th month, I started eating the chocolate in the cupboard. And buying more... and actually eating what I had purchased. I also used to say I was a 'cheap' chocolate fan. Preferring Cadbury's over say Bernard Callebaut. Um, not any longer. I am just a fan of chocolate. Any chocolate.

I thought perhaps after Aidan arrived the trend would end. Sadly for my waist line, no. The trend, ahem, habit, has continued. I eat chocolate daily. Any kind really. Thankfully with not leaving the house, no more has been purchased, but I do have quite the stash. Cadbury fingers, Kit Kats, and even candy left over still from Halloween. All happily being consumed (hush, chocolate from Halloween possibly can't be bad).

Chocolate, Frappuchinos, and not leaving the house, will not help shed the baby weight. And here's another secret.... I really don't care at this point.... I'd rather eat the chocolate.

From a Gamer to a Knitter

For Christmas, Nate bought me the yearly desk calendar from the Yarn Harlot. So far, it's been rather enjoyable. Particularly January 25th.

On Monday, I turned to the new page, chuckled, and read it to Nate (a Gamer):

"Knitting is better than video games because: You don't have to take turns with your sister, it never runs out of batteries, and you never lose three hours of work because you forgot to save your game."

With that last sentence, Nate turned, got that smile on his face that is really truly laughter in hiding and said:

"Unless you drop a stitch. Then you've lost 10 hours of work."

Touche.

Because you REALLY wanted to know...

1. Name someone with the same birthday as you. Nobody here will know him, but a guy from Vctoria named Gerald. Even born the same year. But famous people? No idea. I was born September 1st. Anybody know anyone famous born that year?

2. Where was your first kiss? In the driveway of my boyfriends parents house. I was 17. It's true. 17. It was not good. Also true.

3. Have I ever seriously vandalized someone's property. Um no. Unless toilet papering someone's home counts?

4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex. Sadly, yes. And I regret it.

5. What's the first thing you notice about your preferred sex? First thing I noticed about this sentence was the use of "preferred sex". Interesting. Just to note, I prefer men. First thing I notice, their face. When I was still dating, specifically their teeth.

6. Have I ever sung in front of a large group of people? No. Have you heard me sing? Played musical instruments though, yes.

7. What really turns you off. People who are rude and obnoxious.

8. What do you order at Starbucks? Depends on the day. Usually a Grande Caramel Macchiato and a chocolate chip banana loaf for G.

9. What is your biggest mistake. An old relationship.

10. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose. I can't believe I will admit this, but when I was younger I used to pretend I had sprained my ankles or wrist, just so I wouldn't have to go outside during recess. Seriously, kids had to go out in -30C. Ridiculous. And saying that makes me sound like I'm 80. "Back when I was young...."

11. Say something totally random about yourself. I love pure genuine laughter.

12. Has anyone ever said you look like a celebrity? Yes, that girl from the Titanic, or Drew Barrimore.

13. Do I still watch kid shows? Hello, I have two kids. Yes.

14. Did you have braces? From the age of 7 until I was 18.

15. Am I comfortable with my height. I'm just under 5'4. That's fine with me.

16. What is the most romantic thing someone of your preferred sex has done for you? Most recently? The day after I came home from the hospital, I woke up to Nate having gone and bought me my favorite Starbucks drink. It was incredibly sweet.

17. When do you know it's love? Perhaps the answer to #16. Someone buying me a coffee and I find that incredibly sweet.

18. Do you speak any other languages? French and Kiswahili, but both are kind of rough around the edges now.

19. Have I ever been to a tanning salon? Yes, the months leading up to my wedding.

20. Have I ever ridden in a limo? Yes, when I was 19 in Victoria.

21. What's something that really annoys you? Knowing the person you are talking to isn't listening to a word you are saying.

22. What's something you really like? Lattes.

23. Can you dance? No.

24. Have I been rushed by ambulance to the emergency room? Thankfully no.

25. This one said I was supposed to tag 5 people, but I'm not really into that. If you too need some blogging material, feel free to use this little meme, and be sure to let me know :) Would love to see others answers!

This little boy of mine...

I never knew how sweet having a boy would be. When we found out we were expecting a boy, I will admit I was a little scared. All I knew was a little girl. But this little man has arrived into my life and oh how I am in love with him. In a much different way than I am with Grace. Hard to put into words the difference. It's not more than I love her as I can easily say I love them equally - it's just different. And that difference feels so special, and I feel blessed that I get to experience it.

He is just over 2 weeks now and we are starting to figure each other out.

• He sleeps great at night, waking every 2 or 3 hours to eat, then for the most part, falls back asleep.
• Naps during the day - ha! This little man thinks he might miss something and spends most of his day alert, or I spend my time coercing him into sleeping. With slings, rocking, and many a soother fight (he is not a fan).
• He is putting on weight like crazy. Our last lactation appt he was up to 8 pds 6 oz. A gain of a pound in a week.
• To answer Sophie's question, we have been almost formula free for a week now! As a BFAR patient, I never thought I'd ever be able to say that. But, so far, we are exclusively breastfeeding. We see the lactation consultant in two weeks time, and if things are still going good, we will start weaning off the Motillium and see if my supply stays up. At my last appt, he fed in 15 minutes and was getting 80 mL. Our Dr. was very impressed (and so was I!).

Tomorrow, I will do Lady Mama's Meme :)

Exciting Post?

I don't mean to be silent here in blogland. But my days pass from one to the next with not much changing giving very little material to talk about here. The weather thankfully has turned from spring like conditions to wintery ones, making it much easier to be stuck inside the house. I saw the midwives this past week and have been told to continue to take it easy. Hard thing for a busy person like me to do. I have "escaped" the house three times now for quick jaunts out by myself when Nate is home and Aidan is asleep. Usually for a coffee. Last night for vitamin D drops. That is as exciting as my life gets right now. But I couldn't be happier. Life seems complete with these two little ones in my life and a great man by my side. When Grace was born, our family didn't feel complete, but it now does. Strange how that just seemed to happen once Aidan joined us. Life is good, and oh so sweet.

I'm still busy knitting, and am working on a project for Grace's birthday and a shawl. I'm mostly found knitting with a nursing pillow on my lap and a babe fast asleep. I'll take my knitting opportunities when they present themselves - it truly is a great form of relaxation. That is until I can take up running again. I had originally thought of signing up for a couple late summer races, but am now re-thinking that until I know how my healing goes. Perhaps a short fall race will happen this year. Maybe a 10K. My goals are slowly being re-shaped and I'm ok with that.

But, I do need some blogging material. Anyone have any questions for me? You ask, I'll do my best to answer :) Or perhaps once of those blog quizzes - I could do one of those for all of you to read too :)

Leading by Example

I will admit here I am a bit of a Biggest Loser fan. I enjoy watching the show (usually while eating candy) and seeing the effort those people put into working out, and am always amazed at how much weight they can lose. I haven't been following much of this latest season, but last night I clicked on the TV and caught a few minutes.

Jillian, one of the trainers, is a bit harsh, but I've come to like her. On the show last night she was drilling into one of the contestants who is there with her Mother, about how showing emotion shows vulnerability, and strength. That by showing emotion it helps us to work through our feelings and become a better person. I whole heartily agree (but I also find no shame in crying... even over ridiculous things). Jillian went on to tell this woman that she is just like her Mother, and her daughter is going to be just like her. Frankly, it pissed this woman off. But the point was, we learn by example, and our parents, our caregivers, are that example.

As kids, my brothers and I weren't enrolled in a whole swack of sports. My youngest brother hated hiking, I hated swimming. My eldest brother was the only semi active one being a very skilled swimmer. But our parents - I recall them being in tennis leagues, then racketball clubs, I can recall going to the gym with them to watch them play a game or two. From there, when I was in University, they moved onto the game of golf. They never pushed active pursuits on us, or told us how to eat, or how much to work out, they just lived it. And, it turns out, my brothers and I absorbed it.

As adults, my two brothers are amazing cyclists, and love to hike. I love to run... ridiculous distances. We all have our food vices (who doesn't?) but we all eat relatively healthy and take care of ourselves. We learned by example. Actions do perhaps speak louder than words.

It was food for thought last night, and I enjoyed looking back and seeing how my parents quietly moulded me into the person I am today. And I'm thankful for their gift. I hope I can be the same type of example for my kids.

This past week I've....

• Taken care of two kids on my own for short periods of time. Only with minor breakdowns (me, not the kids).
• Realized I have knitting projects all over the house. A sock upstairs for when I'm waiting for A to wake between feeds, a sweater downstairs for when I'm doing the same thing, and a shawl that seems to get toted back and forth with me but rarely knit on.
• Been eternally grateful for the help of my Mom. I'm not sure how this week would have faired without her.
• Been thankful that Nate has work despite it has taken him out of our home. Always grateful for work.
• Been amazed at how wonderfully Grace is taking the transition to having a sibling in her house. Every day gets better with less outburts of frustration. There have been lots of head touching, toe tickling, and questions of "what's wrong with Aidan?" I know I am going to love watching their relationship blossom.
• I've been starting to feel better every day. Then I say that and end up taking more Motrin. But really though, I think the healing is happening and soon I'll be able to pick up a pot of water. I hope.
• Been frustrated at the limitations after a c-section. How do people elect for this? Seriously, a vaginal delivery is so much better. And I'll keep saying that. Honestly the truth.
• There have been first baths, and belly buttons being revealed. Love it.
• There have been visits from close friends that make my heart warm and my days not so long.
• Cherishing these sweet moments with someone so wee, and already missing each day as it passes.

Here's to another week ahead. I can't wait to see what it holds :)

Projects on the Docket

My Mom has been helping me out during the days this past week, but the days still pass quickly and in a bit of a blur. I commented to her today that already at 1 week Aidan is changing - his face is starting to fill out and I'm sure he's put on a decent amount of weight. She's been amazing helping out with laundry, vacumming, making us meals, and taking Grace out on small trips to help break up her days. As the week has progressed, there have been fewer household tasks to do, and more time to "laze" about. Today was another lazier day for us and she brought in her yarn ball winder for us to try.

Mom used to have a knitting machine when I was younger, and the machine had come with a ball winder. We have been busy the past couple years winding our yarn skeins by hand. It was a couple weeks ago Mom remembered the ball winder down in her basement. Today we gave it a go with a few of the skeins I have that are needed to be wound for current projects I have, or will have, on the go. We quickly had all my skeins wound up into pretty little cakes. (The one wound into a ball is one I did by hand).


What is all this yarn for you ask?

The green and teal yarn (Colorway "Alli") is for another Unique Sheep KAL (Knit-a-long) that started back on January 10th. The first clue had 19 rows to be knit by January 22nd. I'm currently on row 3, and mostly am found knitting a row with a babe fast asleep on my lap. I don't think I'll make having the first clue complete by the 22nd, but I'll be content doing as much as I can and finishing up a little late if need be behing the Ravelry group.

The purple yarn is Miss Babs Yowsa in the Lilac colorway. I'm making a special gift for a very special almost three year old. It needs to be completed by G's 3rd birthday on May 5th. The pattern is called "Bloom" and is a dress that eventually will grow with her into being a top. I struggle with handknits for kids that take precious time but get very little wear. I'm hoping this will see us a couple years as the pattern promises.

I'm also contemplating the idea of sewing myself a nursing cover. I have one I'm borrowing from a friend and it looks pretty easy to copy.... now the question is time.

I seem to be able to knit with a babe on my lap... do you suppose one can sew with a babe on your lap?

And all three projects to work on after a toddler is in bed. Hmmmm. Good thing I find doing crafty endeavors relaxing!

Breastfeeding

We live in a culture (at least here in my hometown) where it seems that breastfeeding is pushed by health care practitioners. That it is the best milk to give your baby. And there is a general feeling (at least I sense there is) that formula feeding is frowned upon. I've come to learn from the Moms I know, that breastfeeding isn't easy. Out of the 11 children amongst the 6 of us, breastfeeding only came easily for 4 of those kids - three of the Moms. Those aren't really awesome statistics. As a group some pumped, some took Motillium, some supplemented. We all tried really hard. And of the five 2.5 year olds running around, you wouldn't know which was breastfed, and which was formula fed. They are all healthy, perhaps a little too boistorous, almost three year olds.

When I had Grace, and being a BFAR patient, I found it extremely depressing (not helped by post partum) that I was not able to exclusively breastfeed her, and that I was only able to breastfeed partially for 2 months. I have had friends who have seen lactation consultants, but thought, because of my surgery, that that avenue wasn't an option for help for me. Each time I went for G's vaccinations, it was a thorough inquiry from the nurses as to why I was not breastfeeding. Had I sought support? Did I wish to pump? Most times, I went home from those appointments in tears feeling I had failed as a Mother.

This time around, one of my midwives lined me up prenatally with a lactation consultant in town who deals with BFAR patients. She had me start taking Motillium (a drug used to help increase milk supply) as soon as Aidan was born. I went to see her today. I went in thinking perhaps Aidan is just a really hungry man (he feeds every half hour to an hour) or that I didn't have the supply. We have been supplementing him with formula the past few days, whenever I have breastfed him and he needed more. I've been emotionally totally ok with this (remember the bit about the boistorous three year olds who are totally fine? Yep, Grace turned out fine, Aidan will too. Formula is not evil). Nate mentioned last night, that I would probably hear that I needed to pump. I thought so too.

Which is why I'm even writing this post. I was pleasantly surprised today. I went in, Aidan was weighed ( 7 pds 2 oz now!) and we started talking about my labour and delivery and how the feeding was going. I told her that I was supplementing with formula.... and I waited for the reaction I am used to from my experience with Grace. The Dr. didn't even pause, she just said "that makes sense." I was shocked. And so relieved. Then I fed Aidan, he was weighed at the end, and I was told I'm giving him roughly 50 mL right now. Perfectly appropriate for a 5 day old (insert extreme excitement here). But, he's hungry. He's trying to gain back the weight he has lost, and I'm only producing just enough. The message from it all - increase my Motillium, supplement when needed, and a follow up appointment as booked.

I'm so excited I feel like I should bake a cake and have a party. For two reasons. One, this is working this time. Two, I never once felt that me providing formula was the wrong thing to do. Pumping, nor standing upside down on your head and spinning in circles to try and only breastfeed, was not even mentioned, hinted, or sniffed out. I never once felt like I was not doing all that I could do. Perhaps I should bake a cake. It is Nate's birthday after all this coming Saturday -men would like cake shaped like breasts no? ;)

And because you have all read so patiently about breasts, milk, and other random tidbits, here are some photos of the little man himself. I'm so smitten.

And just incase you were curious, here is a photo of a belly, with a babe 5 days overdue. Taken just before we left for the hospital.

He's here!

As some of you guessed with my lack of posting this week, our little man Aidan has made his arrival.

Aidan Reid entered the world hollering at 4:40 pm on Wednesday, January 6th... but of course, not without some unexpected twists and turns. Labour started at 1:30 in the morning that day with contractions that were steady enough we made the move to the hospital around noon. After a few hours of labour at the hospital, things took a turn and Aidan's heartrate started dropping with each contraction. From there, things become a blur, but the call was made to do an emergency c-section. There were complications it turns out with his cord and my placenta. Our midwives say they've never seen a baby taken so quickly. We are relieved that Aidan is with us, and that we are both healthy. We are recovering well and made our break from the prison (aka hospital) yesterday afternoon.

He's a tiny little man weighing in at 7 pds 8 oz and quite lengthy at just over 21 inches. And of course, we all think he's absolutely adorable.

I'll be back in a couple days with pictures - right now we still have to send out e-mail announcements with photos to family, so photos on the blog need to wait for a bit yet. Thank you all for your notes of congratulations on my previous post. We are so thrilled to have him home with us :)

Organization & Questions Answered

First to answer some of your questions from my previous post.

Mrs. Spit - if I received a million dollars for being the only woman to maintain pregnancy forever, here are a few things I would do with it:

1. Pay off our mortgage.
2. Set aside enough money to be able to comfortably stay home with my kids and not have to work outside the home.
3. Donate money to research on hemangiomas. Part of the process we go through at the Children's hospital is mainly for research as they don't know for sure why hemangiomas happen.
4. Donate money to a brain trauma institute. Not sure which one, but it's a miracle Nate is still with us after a serious brain injury as a teen. I'd like to pay our good fortune forward.
5. Go to Australia & New Zealand. It's the one place Nate and I can agree on that we'd both like to travel to.

I could keep adding to that list, but those are the top five things that pop into my head. Heck, if a "man" can get pregnant, then who is saying that this babe may not just stay in utero indefinitely ;)

Tacha - I think I was holding on to get past the Christmas and New Years dates, as those are already birthdays in our family. Now that those are past, I'm now feeling slightly stressed that my Mom leaves this coming Monday for a few back to back trips that take her away from this country for almost four weeks. The idea of Aidan being born and my Mom not being here, or he being born and not having her help the first couple of weeks frightens me. I am now just praying he'll arrive - soon.

Ok, now the organization. I became lax later this past year and stopped updating my sidebar list of 2009 projects. Oops. I hope to be better with my 2010 list in the year ahead. But, I have added items to the 2009 list. So hop on over, click on the link and go take a gander. Most of the additions are knitting projects, and I know there are things that I've forgotten to include. But it is still a good summary of the crafty things I did in 2009.

Now off to knit. A fellow blogger is knitting in her own city tonight, praying Mr. A will arrive. I'm off to "join" her. Perhaps two knitters knitting in unison, praying for the safe arrival of a little boy will set things in motion...

Distraction Please?

Imagine you are 41 weeks pregnant, and not a very patient person. Now please tell me what you would be doing to distract yourself from the fact you aren't really sure anymore, if a baby will ever appear?

So far I've been:

• Knitting. I cast on the shawl for Erin on Dec. 24th thinking there would be no way it would be completed before our babe's arrival. It's almost done.
• Been going on walks with Grace. Even in -12C bundled up in snowsuits and scarves. There was alot of prodding on our walk today to keep going, and the promise of hot chocolate at home had to be given. I'm not sure how many more days she'll agree to venturing outside.
• Sadly alot of Disney movie watching.
• And Treehouse (local Canadian cartoon channel).
• Baking - we've made Gingersnap cookies and Cinnamon buns this weekend.
• Napping. I'm not usually a napper, but I now can't make it through the day without one.

And there have been attempts to get this babe on the move. You name the oldwives trick, we've probably tried it. Save castor oil. I'm not willing to go there. Tomorrow I have a chiropractor, and a massage appointment lined up. Tuesday another round of accupuncture. Thursday I see my midwives. Saturday my older brother flies home... last time he was here was November and we were sure that the next time he'd see me would be sans belly with a babe in arms. It's a little frightening to me he may still be seeing me with the babe in utero.

The main thing I need a distraction from are my thoughts. Too much thinking and pondering on the "when", "now", "ever"? is happening. Any suggestions to help me/Grace pass the minutes?

TINK

I've been working on a birthday gift for my girlfriend Erin. While working on Henry, her and I spotted a Unique Sheep colorway called 'Erin's Dream', and the colors were perfectly suited to her - oranges & pinks. In early September I asked her if she'd like me to knit her a shawl for her birthday. I'd have ample time to do it given her birthday isn't until the end of May.

After having all my Christmas knits done, I was searching for a new project to cast on, and decided on her shawl. After a bit of trouble understanding the cast on, and shouting out for some help from fellow 'Ravelers', I got into a groove. The shawl was going quick. I actually thought last night I might get it complete before this babe appears. There be the problem.

I got smug. And I hadn't inserted a lifeline. 3/4 the way through a lace shawl and, if a mistake was to be made, it would be really hard for me to find it. But I was thinking that this was a piece of cake. Until I got to the end of a row last night, 400 some stitches, and realized one was missing. I had either dropped a stitch, or forgotten one. Some explicit words were said and I put the shawl down. I've learned when a mistake is made, some space from the project is also needed.

This morning after an acupuncture appointment (a small attempt to convince Mr. A that he should indeed decide to be born) I went to a coffee shop, sat down with a peppermint mocha, and tinked back my work. Over 800 stitches, and an hour and a half later, I found my mistake. I no longer feel smug about this shawl. And I think I need a break from it. I've put it, and the marker where the mistake is, back in it's project bag, and am going back to working on Nate's sweater (a tedious 1X1 rib). But rib is simple, or should be, and mistakes (cross my fingers) should not happen with such a mindless knit.

My lesson has been re-taught to me. Don't get smug. It will come back to bite you.