The second day we were in the hospital, was the first time I changed Aidan. Suffice it to say, the cute little gown they had put him in, soon had to be laundered. Boys should be easier to clean, or so I thought. There have proven to be alot of things I never knew about boys.
Today, after doing an hour or so of errands, I thought I'd take Aidan to a playground while we waited to get Grace from pre-school. I remembered there being a playground not too far from the church where she goes, and was excited that I thought Aidan would be excited at a new place to play.
But he didn't choose to play in the playground. Despite that I tried coaxing him by swinging in a swing. No, he wanted to play underneath the baseball bleachers. Following his lead, I sat under the bleachers with him and drank my latte. This play was for him afterall, and he made it fairly clear he did NOT want to go to the playground.
Me: Aidan, do you want to go to the park and slide down slides?
Aidan: NO.
Alrighty then. After checking out all the weeds under the bleachers, he then climbed the bleachers to the very top and back down. That job accomplished he went over to the bench at the ball diamond and threw around some red rocks.
My boy is a BOY. And I love him for it, but some days, I feel a little lost.
Can anyone help?
6 comments:
Sorry I have no books to guide you toward. I grew up with brothers. There were lots of boy things, broken bones, bruises, bike accidents, one who thought he could run faster than cars (he may still think that) I learned 1)Boys are wild 2) Boys LOVE their mamas 3) The rest just happened
You are so right. I grew up with two brothers. I remember a lot of tonk a trucks. Boys are wild, and they do LOVE their Mamas. I'll tell myself to let the rest just happen :)
from my experience (with a 6.5 year-old boy)
one thing that is working for us (as far as the mistreatment of sister and other girls) - mostly - helping a lot, anyway, is teaching isaac that his job is to protect his sister and his mom and other girls. it doesn't take away from that fight and grit in his nature - but it helps him to channel it.
aiden should be grace's biggest champion and protector - not someone she'll be afraid of! and aiden needs to learn to care for sister and mom the way his dad does - so someday, he can take good care of a wife and kiddos. :) yes, we really tell isaac things like that. and he gets it and works at it, because he wants to be just like his dad. ;)
if the wild things aiden is doing don't hurt anyone else or any thing let him go for it. he wants to jump from a step higher than what you are comfortable with? let him. he wants to throw rocks at the ball field instead of play on the playground? you let him! :) he want to run faster, jump farther, climb higher, ride a bike faster, etc. let him. he'll have lots of bumps and bruises and scrapes, but he'll also use a lot of that wild energy and he won't take it out in destructive ways toward his sister or your home.
i don't have a book to recommend, but i do have an email address and lots of hours logged with a boy who has lots of energy and passion and fight and grit in him . . .
hugs to you,
elizabeth
I agree with Elizabeth! I have 2 of them both exactly the same as A
There are no books, no manuels I have logged many hours as well with 2 very rowdy boys who have climbed walls and tried my patience daily.
We can only teach them to have patience, to be kind and speak softly. To not be cruel to the bugs ;) To be their sisters protectors and to always keep them safe.
Hate to tell you but it gets worse before it gets better. But it also gets to be way more fun as well!! They are so much FUN boys, way more so than girls in such a different way!
Be patient with him and let him be adventerous, bumps and bruises healm bones mend and so do bruised egos ;) ( you can remind him of that when he's about 16 :p )
And I too am only a phone call away despite the chaos that consumes my life at times ;)
yes, meg - it does get worse before it gets better.
but it does get better!
i think age 3 was the most trying of all. cause oh. man. did he have an opinion, but not the tools with which to channel his ideas and plans and anger, etc.
one has to be strong. and consistent. and never, never say one thing and do another. don't threaten a consequence if you won't or can't follow through with it. if you must change - explain. "mom said i was going to or we were going to, this is why i/we can't and i am so sorry." (even if you are talking about a discipline measure and you must change what you said, apologize for doing something different.)
the toddler stage is enough to bring tears and make mom feel like a failure. you aren't a failure. hang in there. and provide balls to throw, dirt to dig, benches to jump off, a bike to ride, trees to climb, and an ample amount of sticks and rocks. :)
and right now? enjoy that sand and sun!
Hey Carmen, I hear you on the boy thing. I try to read parenting books because quite honestly, I have no idea what I'm doing! I really like the Love and Logic one. Don't really love all the examples they use in the book, but really love the approach. I found another book about raising boys, but haven't read it yet. Sometimes I just read reviews on different book on Amazon to find good stuff. Hang in there, and thanks for your openness on this subject, nice to know I'm not alone.
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