Today

1. There was a snowstorm this morning.  It was a little sketchy getting Grace to pre-school.

2. I joined Pinterest.  Dangerous pastime.
3. I learned that Pyjama is spelt like pajama in the US.  Perhaps I've just always spelt it wrong?
4. I made caramel corn from scratch.  At the rate it is being consumed, we might be making another batch in a few days.  Something about caramel corn says Christmas to me.

5. Aidan wore snowpants for the first time.  He took the typical "I'm not sure of this white stuff, and if I stand really still in one spot, nothing bad will happen approach".

6. He did better than Grace.  Grace's first true snow experience, she cried.  Aidan laughed. 
7. I bought a Latte this morning and am still drinking it this afternoon.  I assume I'm not the only person this happens to.

8. I worked some more on Aidan's quilt.  Our banister is becoming more like a works in progress display.

Tonight:

 At home date with Nate.  Or rather Nate has a date with his two girls.  He's teaching us to make paper airplanes (for Aidan's birthday invites).  I have bought some soda in bottles, and three types of candy.  Should be a fun festive time :)  I've been looking forward to it all day!

Quilt Musings

The kids and I stayed in our pyjamas today until 1 pm.  When my Mom called to drop something by at 11, I had to warn her of our state.  She sounded a little shocked, given I have been pretty on top of my goal of always getting ready before the kids get up.  When I opened the door for her, Grace was dressed up in a princess gown, wearing a collapsible toy bucket on her head.  Mom laughed and then she saw Aidan dressed up as Tinkerbell.  Where was my strange get up she asked?  Aren't my pyjamas at noon enough I laughed back?

See last night, I was up until midnight working on Aidan's quilt.  I was thankful the kids slept this morning til 8 am.  Colleen (the longarm quilter) is scheduled to come pick it up on Friday.  And I've been quilting like a mad woman trying to get it ready.  And I've realized, that sometimes the simplest things are perhaps the hardest.  I knew I wanted some specific fabric for his quilt, but it was quite busy.  Not wanting to mix busy fabric with a busy pattern, I landed on making him an improvised coin quilt.  Oh but for the life of me I couldn't get it to square up last night.  The sashing (neutral strips that join the coin stacks) were twisting the entire quilt top to the right.  Absolutely no idea why.  So I cut and sliced and almost cried.  Then I laid it out in our front room so I could see it fresh in the morning and went to bed.

 Most of the fabric is Robert Kauffman, the Remix series.

Taken yesterday mid morning when I was still piecing it together.

This morning, it did look better.  And I cut myself a break.  It's truly my second large(r) quilt.  I'm no expert.  I'm learning.  My kids are wee.  When I look back at this quilt, if I make more, in years to come I will see where I started from.  And I know that that will make me smile.  When Grace was still under one, I took a course at a local yarn studio on how to knit a baby blanket, multiple colours, from the centre out.  When I went to wash it, I didn't realize that a stitch (ok a few stitches) had dropped, and the blanket unravelled.  Still not experienced enough to know how to handle it, I did a botch job of trying to sew it back together with weaving the yarn in.  It's not pretty.  I could unravel it (just as I could undo the quilt top), but I kept the blanket and put it in Grace's closet.  When I come across it, I smile and look at my beginning, and it makes me see how far I've come.  There is something great about that.  I just have the back of the quilt to piece together and it will be on it's way.  Hopefully back home to me around the holidays, and ready for Aidan's birthday in January.

Three Good Things

Canada is starting to jump on the Black Friday bandwagon (sometimes calling it Blue Friday) and this past Friday saw my Mom at a store for me by 8 am to pick up a gift I had wanted for Aidan's birthday.  When she approached the till, the woman asked her if she would like to donate $2 to pediatric cancer.  When my Mom agreed, the woman said, "there, you've done one out of your three kind things today".  She explained to my Mom, that since her kids were little, she taught them to do three kind things every day.  Holding a door open for someone, going to see someone who really needs you, picking up something someone else dropped - what have you.  At the end of the day while they are at the dinner table, she asks them what their three things were.  My Mom really liked this idea and so do I.

I try to do little things for people when I see them or think of them, but I've never put a conscience thought to it.

As the holiday season fast approaches, and with it also a season for some that is especially hard, I want to try and find ways to give a bit of a hug. 

Here are some of my bigger ideas:

• Adopt a Family.  We have done this in years prior and really enjoyed it.
• Toy Mountain - giving new toys to kids that would really love them.
• Good Will - I go through our clothes and toys before the holidays hit and donate what is still in good condition.
• Food Bank - I want to make a conscious effort to pick up food primarily for the food bank when I'm shopping.
• Visit  a Seniors Home.  I know there are lots of volunteer options over the holidays.  I'm going to see what they are.

And I have lots of smaller ideas to:

• Surprise treats in the mail to friends
• Visiting friends we haven't seen in far too long (young and old)
• Actually sending out Christmas cards (I've neglected this for two years... I think it's time).

And something I've always wanted to do, but never have - buy a coffee for the person behind me in the drive thru.

Do you have any ideas to add to the list?

Secret Crafting

It's that time of year where I have to start doing all my craftiness in secret.

I'm knitting a hat for Nate while he's at work.

Knitting a fairy for Grace.... Most likely on Monday knit nights (the girl is up til at least 9:30 lately and doesn't nap. Doesn't leave much secret time!)

Knitting elf slippers for the wee man when he naps.

And finishing his quilt within the nxt two weeks every other moment I have. (this may require by next week some serious neglect of the house).

How do you find that fine balance of getting everything ready for Christmas without all those eyes seeing you do it?

Beginning to Feel Alot Like Christmas

This morning we woke up to more than a skiff of snow, and temperatures of -14C.  As I bundled the kids up to take Grace to school (her first day back!), that wonderful sense of Christmas began to overtake me.

I've been drinking the amazing Gingerbread Lattes for awhile, and have been slowly picking up Christmas gifts.  But, the season is truly almost upon us. 

Aidan and I went to the mall while G was at school.  Christmas music was playing, seniors were walking arm in arm (I love that), and signs for Santa's upcoming mall arrival were on display.

E-mails are arriving into my inbox for friends getting together, cookie exchanges, parties and the like.

Last night Nate and I sat down to figure out our gift list (ok, in truth I figure out the list and purchase the gifts, but I like to at least read it to Nate and get the head nod) :)

All of this has me reflecting on our ideas around Christmas.  With Grace being four, we are really starting to establish our own family rhythym, and traditions.

We like to:

• Host Christmas Eve at our home.  I love having family over to our house.  Eggnog, cider, cinnamon buns, board games around the table.  It allows the kids to still head to bed, and we still get to visit into the evening.
• Have Christmas morning just the four of us.  We no longer rush out to see other family members on Christmas morning.  It's a chance for us to slow down and just enjoy the kids being kids (and lounge around in our PJ's).
• Talking about PJ's, the kids each get one gift on Christmas Eve.  A new set of PJ's.  This year Nate and I are joining this tradition and are getting eachother a new set as well. 
• We gift the kids each four gifts.  Something to read, something to wear (this year dress up play clothes!), something to play with, and something handmade (I'm excited about what I've found to make the this year!).

What about you?  Any special traditions you've started or have been doing for years?  Is it starting to feel like Christmas around your neck of the woods as well?

A special note of thanks for all the prayers, and heartfelt comments for Grace.  I'm typically  not very outspoken about my Faith, but it is very very clear to me that God was with her in the hospital room.  I know she was being uplifted in prayer, and I am certain it is why her healing is going so remarkably well.  I am so so grateful, for a community of friends, many whom I have never met, who came together to lift up my sweet Grace in prayer and in thought. 

Our Story/Her Story

When Grace was born, the midwive who did her first exam remarked that Grace had a strawberry mark on her right shoulder blade.

When she was 8 weeks old, I was changing her and was shocked to see that the strawberry had turned into a deep purple bruise.  I called the midwives in a panic.  They informed me it was a vascular birthmark.  Some great information on the various types of birthmarks, can be found here.   A friend of mine from our pre-natal class had been referred with her daughter to the birthmark clinic at our Children's Hospital.  When I took Grace in to our family Dr. I made mention of the clinic.  Our Dr. referred us and we became patients of Dr. Fraulin.  A Pediactric Plastic Surgeon.  This was blessing #1.

Hemangiomas go through a period of growth (a quick, rapid phase) then a period of involution (a slow prolonged phase).  Grace's hemangioma burst at 3 months old, only weeks before our first clinic appointment.  We took her to emergency, but they weren't able to do anything for her, and she wasn't in pain (G's hemangioma had never caused her pain.  She hardly knew it was there). 

When our clinic date came up I came with a folder of photos for them, of how her birthmark had appeared at birth, and as she grew those first months.  For the first year at the clinic we also saw a pediatrician.  Part of the clinics purpose is research.  It is still unknown why some children are born with hemangiomas, and others aren't.  What is known is they are more common in girls, than in boys.

Those that follow this blog will know that this past June we elected to have Grace's hemangioma removed, as suggested by Dr. Fraulin.  Her hemangioma wasn't involuting as quickly as they would have liked.

You may find the third photo below graphic.  This is your warning.  But, my first reaction yesterday when all her bandages were removed, when I first saw her scar was "it's beautiful".  I teared up seeing her flat back for the first time.  And without showing her scar, it is hard for others to understand how dramatic the change is.

This was Grace's back taken just before her surgery.

This was taken yesterday before we headed to the hospital to have her bandages removed.

And this is my Grace taken last night.  We still have a journey in front of us.  She is wearing the compression bandage for the next three weeks, and we have to avoid places with lots of kids.  But, we are on the healing journey.

Tonight, we are having a birthmark party.  To celebrate the amazing change this sweet girl of ours is going through.  I've made these (but with pink icing).  There will also be pink balloons, and sparkling juice.

She's a brave brave girl.  And I love her to bits.

Childhood in a Box

Have you ever watched the show Consumed?  I quite enjoy it.  For the sole reason, they take people who have too much stuff, take ALL their stuff away for 30 days, making them live with next to nothing.  Then they get all of their stuff back, and have to purge at least half of it.  The seperation from it, most of the time, makes the sentimentality behind the objects less, and they are able to part with it.

I'm a bit of a pack rat myself, but have been slowly getting better.  Kijiji is my friend.

(I realize this post is a bit scattered... we will get somewhere, I promise).  As a child, I found a box in our downstairs closet.  Looking through it I found the memorabilia from my Dad's childhood.  This box obviouly resonated with me.

When I moved back to Calgary after getting married, my parents dropped off boxes of my stuff.  (I don't recall how many, but there were alot).  About six months ago, I took my first stab at sorting through it all.  I had two goals.

The first : Everything I keep has to fit within one box.
The Second:  It has to be important to me, but also items that when my kids look at them, will give them a glimpse of my childhood.

After the first pass I ended up with two boxes.  One, almost full of stuff that I knew I needed to keep, without question.  The second box has sat in our bedroom for months.  I finally (after watching an episode of Consumed), brought it downstairs and set to work on it yesterday.

I ended up parting with more than half of it.  Some to Good Will (the picture frames that held my piano certificates, some clothes I wore when I lived in Africa, and a couple of books).  There was also a pile I was happy to throw away.

There was one pile of 'unknowns', that after talking with my Mom, I parted with.  A book about MC Escher sold through Kijiji in one day. 

I now have all of my childhood memorabilia in one box.  A box of things that I love, all are important to me, and will be a neat box for my kids to look through one day.

It makes me wonder as I look around our home, what items my kids may keep as treasures of their childhood. 

Lucky

Grace was admitted at 8:30 on Thursday morning.  By 10:30 they were wheeling her back into the holding area.  Up until this point she had done really well.  As soon as Dr. Fraulin appeared she panicked.  I held her against me as he drew on her back.  Unable to relax, the staff said I could "suit up" and carry her back into the OR.  She was struggling to not let go of me, and I did my best to place her on the bed.  The anaesthesiologist held her face to put on the mask for the sleep medicine.  I held her hands, stayed as close as I could to her face, and sang her our song.  Tears slipped from her eyes, and soon started slipping from mine.  The surgeon reminded me I couldn't cry.  I kept it together until they told me she was asleep.  A nurse escorted me out, telling me I had done really well.  As soon as I saw my Dad outside the waiting area I broke down and let all the emotion out.  Then again when I saw my girlfriend Erin.

Grace's surgery was 75 minutes, and she was in recovery for just over half an hour.  When they paged us, we went back to her room.  The best sight to see was seeing her again.  Awake, and almost finished a  blue pedialyte popsicle.

We were discharged by 2 pm.  Grace was an amazing trooper.  She never once complained before the surgery that she was hungry or thirsty.  She only moaned a little afterwards, disgruntled with the IV in her arm.  She only cried softly when she said her compression bandage wrapped around her chest was tight.  As I type this she is sitting in the kitchen, playing quietly on the Ipad.  They say kids are resillient, and it's true.  It's amazing how quickly she has bounced back.

I'm feeling really lucky.  Lucky that:

1. The hemangioma was just under her skin, not in her muscle.
2. That we have such amazing health care in this country.
3. For the skilled hands of her surgeon and the caring staff at the hospital.
4. For the friends and family that have gathered around us.
5. And for you all out there in the blogosphere who have never met our sweet Grace, but still upheld her in your thoughts and prayers.  We live in a pretty awesome connected world.

She is still on Tylenol every 6 hours, and will wear the compression bandage until we see Dr. Fraulin again next week.  Today I am feeling like we are all more settled.  Less emotion in our home, and less stress. 

We are getting back to normal, and normal is good :)

Emotionally Charged

I'm typing on my IPad, upstairs in our ensuite bathroom, while the two littles have a shower together. G's surgery is tomorrow mid morning. I'm guessing anyways, as her admission time is at 8:30.

I think I was fairing pretty well until last night, where it took me two hours to fall asleep. Then fairly well again until I called and received her admission time this afternoon. Ever since my entire being feels tense. And I know I need to keep it in check because the kids emotions are feeding off of mine.

Tomorrow I will have one of my closest friends, more like a sister than a friend, with me, as well as my Dad.

I would also love your prayers and positive/healing thoughts.

Will post back when I can.

Preparing

In a weeks time, Grace will be having surgery to remove her hemangioma.  The one on her back, not the one on her jaw.  I knew going into the hospital this past June, that surgery would be discussed.  A hemangioma typically grows, then starts to involute (shrink).  Grace's hasn't been shrinking as fast as the clinic would have expected, and they/we decided that having it surgically removed before she enters kindergarten would be best.  The best, but also the hardest.  I wasn't able to sign the surgical release forms.  I had to pass them to Nate as tears streamed down my face.  Now, a week away from surgery, I'm feeling stronger, but still get pretty teary when the surgery is discussed.

 Grace in 2008.  You can see the hemangioma underneath her shirt.

Grace's hemangioma this past summer after a couple of mosquito bites.

The hospital called a couple of days ago with the one week prior instructions.  I expected that Grace wouldn't be able to have the surgery if she had the flu, or diarrhea, but she also cannot be congested or have a persistent cough.  Wednesday was her last day at pre-school and we are now keeping her at home, trying our best to stay germ free.

We have been preparing for her surgery since the summer, reading recommend books such as Franklin Goes to the Hospital, and answering Grace's questions as best we can.  Most times, the questions come out of the blue.  We were in Hawaii and Grace was brushing her teeth before going to bed.  She stopped, and asked "is it going to hurt?".  Questions like those are the hardest, and others are easier "can I bring my bunny with me?". 

I'm thankful that I have an amazing support group of friends who are helping me stay grounded, and am in awe of the love that surrounds my little girl.