This morning, around 7 am, two sleepy eyed kids appeared at the edge of my bed. They clambered in and I tucked them in with my blankets. We layed together for a few minutes when I suggested we get up and get some breakfast. Grace as she likes to do, rubbed my belly. I lifted the quilt off of myself and lifted up my shirt. Her little hands rubbed the tight skin and she said "Come out baby!"
Not usual for Aidan, he joined in on this little chant "Come out baby!". Then it was as if he realized what he was saying and his face saddened and he gave a huff. I rubbed his back and kissed his forehead.
Grace continued on "We have a nursery for you, and a crib!" I piped in we also had clothes and diapers" "Uh huh" she said with a smile. "And alot of love" I smiled back.
Then there was a pause. And she said "Maybe he doesn't like the hospital". Deep words coming from a five year old who all too clearly remembers her surgery last November. We've also had alot of discussion about how her & Aidan were born (meaning we have spoken about vaginal births - she wanted to know why the baby was head down) and c-sections (why Aidan wasn't born that way).
Oh sweet Grace. Sometimes it's easy to forget how much our children absorb.
As I prepare for this babe's arrival, so do my kids, in their own hard little way. Grace excited, but concerned. Wanting to understand. Aidan not wanting to leave my side. Frustrated and not having enough words to express himself. It's a hard but growing place we are in as a family right now. Clearly a place of transition. And with just three weeks before school starts for Grace, even more ahead.
I'm giving all of us grace to just be. To accept where we are all at and help the kids work through all of this. I'm avoiding the crazy sign up for Fall programs, and plan for us to just BE until at least after Christmas. No extra rush, no planning of absurd schedules, just us, Kindergarten, and growing into a family of five.
Sweet thing. We are ready.